Just for Fun
I was looking through some old computer files for something and came across this piece I had written several years ago to my three sons, who, shortly before this was written, had awarded to me temporary custody of their dog, an exuberant Chesapeake Bay Retriever. The "little dark one" is me, and the "big white one" is my husband, the Rev. J. Keith Cupples. My sons got a great kick out of this and it also serves as a reminder that we all look things very differently. And perhaps, if we can be theological for a moment, that "God's ways are not our way." Thank goodness.
OK, big brothers, just let me tell you my story before you hear from that dark one. I really didn't mean to get into trouble. Honest.
Here's what happened. For a long time now, just that little dark one has been taking me for a walk. She's OK, but I really don't pay any attention to anything she says and she won't let me run very far on that nice grassy place we go with these funny little holes that have flags sticking out of them. But a couple of days ago, the big white one started taking me for my walk and, let me tell you, that was a different experience. He's definitely the pack leader and I do whatever he says. Really, I'm kind of in love with him. I follow right at his heels when we walk on the hard stuff before we get to the grassy stuff. He doesn't even bother with that thing that connects me and tightens around my neck. The little dark one won't leave home without it.
Anyway, when we get to the grassy place with the funny little holes, the big white one says, "go" and I'm off. So many wonderful new smells and things to discover! We went out today when it was still dark and I found even more exciting things. One of them was a little black creature with a white stripe and a long bushy tail and I had the most fun chasing him. The big white one did call me to come back, but I was having so much fun that I didn't pay any attention. Suddenly, I tasted something really awful and spat and drooled and rubbed my face in the grass trying to get it off, but just couldn't do it. Both the big white one and the little dark one seemed kind of upset with me and when we got home, they wouldn't let me in the house! Can you believe that?
Then, and you are not going to believe this either, the little dark one came out and poured some red stuff all over me. It tasted kind of like those little red balls that I used to find in this space they call the "garden" this summer, but sure didn't look like it. The little dark one rubbed this stuff all over me and then squirted some oily stuff on me and then sprayed me hard with the hose! She even has the gall to tie me up so I couldn't get away. And then she threw away the nice mat I sit on when I'm out here. And if that wasn't enough, she did that all over again-more red stuff and more oily stuff and then poured some stuff all over me that smells like flowers!
The insult! The indignity! And SHE STILL WON'T LET ME IN THE HOUSE!
My big brothers-won't you rescue me? They are really mistreating me here. Up to now, they were pretty nice. Made me eat healthy food, but I finally learned to like it. I can still get on the couch during the day because, even though the little dark one yells at me, I told you I don't pay any attention to her anyway. If the big white one is around, I just stay off until he goes. Sometimes he fools me and comes right back in and I get in a little trouble, but it really doesn't matter because, as I told you, I'm kind of in love with him anyway. But even he WOULDN'T LET ME BACK IN THE HOUSE TODAY even after all that nasty stuff the little dark one did to me.
Do you think this is fair? I DEMAND TO BE LET IN. I'm going to sit out here and whine until the little dark one changes her mind.
Your devoted little sister,